Na Nian Wo Men Shi Qi Sui 6 yrs ago...
i had a very good friend..
the girl i hanged out with most often..
2 of us are supposedly to be sec sch best friends
i used to think tat 2 of us will be friends forever
despite our differences..
Sadly, tat friendship did came to an end..
when jealousy,possesiveness seeped in.. wat used to
be sweet does'nt seem to be so sweet after all that..
I wonder why this friendship turned out this way?
could it be she was'nt wat i tot her to be or
is it i let her down in the 1st place? or is that
i fear pple manipulating me ?
somehow, i wished i was more forgiving then.
anger from the "betrayal" had juz blinded me..
i forgotten how i had hurt her.. i only remember the pain
i feel back then.. Looking back, i really dun understand y i did
all those things.. (I'm juz another selfish midget.)
Things din get better in poly (which i actually hope to be)
the short reconciliation was juz a chance to get back at me
ba. honestly, i was upset by tat. the random scornful
remarks juz shot thru me.
haiz.. if i could take a step back then, maybe we could have
at least remain friends. won't be like now, saw her
on the train and dun even know how to say Hi.. juz dare to steal
random glances at her..
I was dying to go back and say hi. but could'nt mustered up
enough courage to do so. afraid of being rebuked.
so i was'nt even worried when we alighted at the same station. secretly,
i was hoping that maybe she decide to do so 1st.
okie, in the end neither of us did that. haiz.. i lost my chance
of seeking reconiliation with her and redeeming myself.
If only, if only... =(
It had become my life dream to seek reconiliation with all
my ex-friends. those whom i had hurt or hurt me in a way or 2..
i juz hope we can find a way to be friends again..
I wish there would be this chance tat i could tell them
how much they had meant to me and how much i regret doing all those
things back then.